Don't watch Evita and think songs won't get stuck in your head.
Nevertheless, certain lines do stick out to me...

"There is no one, no one at all
Never has been and never will be a lover
Male or female
Who hasn't an eye on
In fact they rely on
Tricks they can try on
Their partner
They're hoping their lover will help them or keep them
Support them, promote them
Don't blame them
You're the same"


I love that song. In either case, today has been a day of sorts. I started off quite down in the dumps about usual stupid stuff. So, I took a class off and went to an unvisited park (at least during the day) that's by a lake and studied for the following class. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Soon after, I went to the class, Anthropology, which I love! Who knows? I may become an anthropologist after my long search for a major...

Afterwards I went to work. Usually there are only a couple students who need tutoring, but for some odd phenomenon there were at least 17 or so. So, I spent my time tutoring from one high school student to another. It's so odd to be helping out high schoolers. It's not like I'm that much older than them. And then for them to call me "sir"? It's really odd... One of my youth's friend has also started calling me "sir"... I JUST turned twenty.

So that was all well, but then I got home and after a lonely day, I figured I may as well call a friend. So I called someone. She's the closest friend I have right now. Problem is that she really likes me. More than likes me. I don't know why or how, but she does. Not only does she like me but thinks I'm this great wonderful guy and even thinks I'm "hot" and "sexy". I have been called a million things in my life, but never those words. Nor did I ever expect to hear someone call me that. I know what I am and it's not that... So, I started talking to her and she started to get me upset. So I began to get snappy. Which only made me more mad because she was ok with me being snappy. I swear, I could probably treat this girl like crap and she would still swear I was some demi-god. Of course all of that last sentence in a exageration, but I certainly feel like that. So after being too irrate I told her I had to let her go, which she started to apologize for the conversation we were having and so on. So, I snapped again and cut her off and told her that I meant now. I really didn't want to snap more at this girl and I knew that I would. She said "ok" in the most sad and apologetic way ever. It only made me more disgusted. Disgusted at me, disgusted at her, disgusted at the situation. I told her a thousand times that we shouldn't be friends. She wouldn't have it. She's stubborn. So, now I feel like crap for all those reasons and more.
And I thought about how dumb it was that I was having a good day until I called her. Then I thought about how selfish of a thought that was.


Also, since I have no one else to talk to about this stuff, or any stuff for that matter, I will spill some thoughts here.

The reason my subject line caught my attention in Evita, is because I've been thinking about how horribly true that is. I mean, have you ever trully realized that the ONLY way to have a "good life" here in the United States, or any other country in the world for that matter, is at the expense of others? It's a very complex world, but in the end, I've come to realize that we can't have "nice things" without the death and destruction of others. Like all those sweat shops around the world making our nice shoes and clothes. Like how the vast majority of the money made in the world comes from narcotics and guns. The guns that allow genocides that constantly happen in Africa and other places in the world. But the buck flows around. Have you ever seen the movie Lord of War? That movie really opened my eyes to alot more. And no matter what anyone says, I will never believe that the government does nothing bad. Even more so, that they hide all the bad they do. Absolutely everything in history proves that the government manipulates the people and destroys other people in other countries for the betterment of it's own people, meanwhile hidding all evidence of it. Like the war in Iraq. I don't care what you think, it's a stupid war. It's a war specifically for oil. That's how it started anyways. Alot of people have even tried to argue with me about how "we're freeing people from an evil government!" Please... I don't think our government is so altruistic that it would go all the way around the world and from some divine sign choose Iraq out of the hundreds of messed up countries to "fix". Not to mention, we've seen what this "fixing" has gotten us. If anything. We've stirred up an already volatile situation. But hey... look at it this way: Gas is now $1.99 in some gas stations around here.
I could go into quite a few examples of how evil deeds have gotten us what we want or what some of us think we "need", but it is 1:33 in the morning over here and I need to get sleep.
But my basic point is that it really mistyfies me how we can live in this world with the things we have and call ourselves blames. Say that we have nothing to do with anything else that goes on in the world. We all have blood on our hands, I think. So why is that we automatically want to point our finger at others who do wrong?

Hi elessar257
Thanks for the share! You can always talk here. You have a way with words. I wrote on is God to blame and about it being manmade things whom is really to blame if you like to read and see if it we're on the same page, so we can beef about it some more. http://jmc.nutang.com/r_3860/Is+God+To+Blame%3F/ Plus a few other NuTang Members feel the same on their post. I'll keep you in the loop soon. Have a nice day elessar257
» JMC on 2006-10-12 12:42:56

i knew i could count on you...

and aren't you glad your here? :)
» crochetmama on 2006-10-12 05:27:03

=)
i've never seen the movie, Evita.

we all have good and bad days.

and if ever someone thinks you're hot and/or sexy. enjoy it. i don't mean to take advantage of him/her but to enjoy the feeling of someone feeling that way about you. smile and soak it up.
» jen on 2006-10-13 03:08:21

your not screwed goober... i replied over on mine because it's long
» crochetmama on 2006-10-14 02:36:24

Thank you
for reading, and understanding = [ cause most people don't, but same to you if you ever want to talk im here
» jlo10314 on 2006-10-14 11:39:19

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