"It's like you don't believe in love."

Lies.
Truth.
Who can trully be a judge?

I'm at my wits end.

In life.

I feel as if I've hit a brick wall at 60 mph.
That either means that I'm getting hit by something incredibly strong with plenty of power, which would mean that I'm doing something to deserve it (I'm not sure whether that means I'm doing something good and getting hit by a bad force or that I'm doing something wrong and getting hit by a good force), or it could be that I've actually hit a brick wall at 60 mph.

So, what do I do?
Believe that I'm doing what's right and keep getting beat like some sort of martyr?
Stop doing whatever wrong I'm doing that I don't even know I'm doing and HOPE that that's what it is?
Or do I accept the brick wall as a dead end turn tail like a coward and a failure one. more. time...?

I never get win/win situations, do I?





All I know is that I'm hurt. Deeply wounded. And tired. And these are things no level of hugs and talks can fix. I need something else. Something bigger. Or maybe there just isn't a fix. Maybe I really will be broke for the rest of my life. Literally and metaphorically.

aw Elessar, your entries are so sad. :(
I can see why you might not like Bella. To be true, as the book went on, my affection for her waned. Especially because, seriously, must she swoon like every half a sentence? I can never read books where I don't like the main character. I tried to read "Atlas Shrugged" and I didn't like a single character in the entire book. None of them was motivated by things that motivate me, and I didn't respect any of them. But someday I must finish it, I suppose, out of duty.

But dearest Elessar, if you were near, I would give you a hug anyway, even if it wouldn't fix anything.
» Zanzibar on 2008-11-27 11:04:08

When you've been sick for over a handful of days, you begin to wonder to yourself if you've EVER been well, or what that would even be like. It just feels so long since you've been better.

Despair feels like that, too.

But you'll get better. Situations change. Especially after income tax refund checks come in.
:D
» invisible on 2008-12-01 06:32:41

AND
I love your playlist.

That Eels song is probably one of my favorites of his.
» invisible on 2008-12-01 06:33:17

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