Inspired by events and Zanzi's comment, I was spurned to write another late night post.


I spoke with a friend.
I spoke with my mom.
And above all, I spoke with God.

He's still speaking to me. It's trully amazing. Nothing on this earth makes me a happy as that. Nothing. He is love. What's better than love?

My friend reminded me who I am.
I am a leader. One of God's chosen. And above all, I am loved.

I dreamt of a snake in the living room, in my house in Mexico.
But my mom pulled me aside to my nephew's old room to talk.
She held me in her arms.
And we talked. About life, about things, and about decisions. I don't remember what decisions where made. But I remember she said she had to go. I told her that if she could, before she left, if she could do me one last favor; write me a letter for my when I get married, because I wanted a part of her to still be there.
I woke up.

Since then and before then, God has been speaking to me through His Word, through music, and through trully amazing people.


Life trully is a blessing!


And now I know she really will always be there, no matter what...

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

It's been almost a year.

A year full of emptiness.
A year in which I've managed to fool everyone but myself that I'm okay. A year in which many have grown to believe I can handle things by myself. A year where people have grown to give me enough space, enough space for me to fall apart by my self..

I'm in utter desperation. But I have no clue in which direction to turn or who's counsel to take. Everyone's quick to give it these days. Advice falls like rain in Seattle. And just as consistently, does not listen.

Truth is:
I'm no where near financially stable.
I have no real familial support, but judgement instead.
I don't have a clue on what to do with my life but can no longer afford to.
I thought I knew what chains of responsibility where. ...I had no clue.
Hardly anything comforts me anymore.

I've reached the end of my rope.
I have run as far as I can and have found a dead end.

Is there any real hope?

I just wish I had someone's arms to lay in. Someone to tell me it'll be allright and even if it's not, those arms would still be there no matter what, offering comfort and hope.

God, I miss her.
Mama, te extraño tanto...

Comment! (1) | Recommend!